mad girls' love song
by of starlight
Summary: "i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; i lift my lids and all is born again. i think i made you up inside my head. " - sylvia plath; damon/rachel, klaus/quinn. {updated/rewritten}
1. wishing i was somewhere else

**entitled;** mad girls' love song  
><strong>summary; <strong>_I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my lids and all is born again. (I think I made you up inside my head.) _- Sylvia Plath; _Mad Girl's Love Song_  
><strong>rating;<strong> m  
><strong>disclaimer;<strong> i own nothing that you recognize, really.  
><strong>notes;<strong> criticize my changes. please. i thrive on feedback. believe it or not it does help.

* * *

><p><strong>oo. prologue ; wishing i was somewhere else<strong>**  
><strong>

.

_in the dark with the music on _  
><em>wishing i was somewhere else <em>  
><em>taking all your anger out on me, somebody help <em>  
><em>i would rather rot alone <em>  
><em>then spend a minute with you <em>  
><em>i'm gone, i'm gone<em>

- open wounds ; skillet

* * *

><p>"I'm leaving."<p>

For a brief moment, the string of words almost didn't make sense to Rachel; everything between them had been going so well, and the possibility of him just up and leaving had never once crossed her mind. It just wasn't possible.

Finally, though, after a few minutes of silence, the pieces clicked together in her head, and the realization sunk in.

"W-what?" Rachel mumbled almost breathlessly; her heart was breaking in her chest and it felt as if the air had been knocked out of her, "Leaving to where? _Why?_"

Jesse sighed, crossing his arms over his chest, "I don't know, Rachel." he told her, his gaze carefully drifting anywhere and everywhere that _wasn't_ her, "It's my senior year and my parents are having some problems, so they're sending me out of town. I'm positive that by the time they fix things, I'll be headed to college. So... I wanted to tell you not to wait for me."

While her heart had already been slowly, but surely, crumbling, those words served to shatter it completely; after everything that happened - everything with Finn and Quinn, and finally getting with Jesse, Rachel was positive that she was in love with Jesse. That he was her one, true love - no matter how irritatingly cliché and fairytale that was.

And now he was leaving town.

Leaving _her_.

"B-but surely we can call each other - or Skype! And there are always text messages, emails and handwritten let-!" her mind sputtered for any and all possibilities; anything to stop him from basically breaking up with her, but he quickly cut her off.

"Rachel, _stop_." he told her, his voice so commanding that Rachel couldn't bring herself to go against him. Still, she felt her eyes burn with the unshed tears she was trying to blink away.

"I'm sorry." he told her. And for a good minute she believed it to be a completely sincere apology, but his following words persuaded her otherwise, "Don't try to salvage this. We had a good run, you and I. It was a short one, I admit, but it was a good one nonetheless. We were kidding ourselves if we honestly thought we would make it past high school together. We have our lives to think about. We won't have time to maintain a serious relationship through all of that." he paused for a moment, finally bringing himself to look down at her, "And the last thing I want to do is pull Rachel Berry away from her dreams."

That did it; the flood of tears began and Rachel wasn't sure she'd be able to stop any time soon. The world was falling away from under her and it felt like she couldn't breathe; she was barely conscious of Jesse mumbling an apology and leaning forward to press a soft kiss to her forehead before saying his final goodbye, and leaving her standing there all alone.

.

"You're _moving_?"

Quinn stared up at her boyfriend in blatant disbelief; everything was finally perfect in her life after that spectacle with her, Finn and the hobbit, so how could it be possible that he was leaving her?

"I'm sorry, Quinn." Sam told her, his expression one of anguish as he looked down at her, "But my dad losing his job put us in a tough place, and this was the first good job he's been able to find. And I'm only 16, I can't stay here without them."

"I can't believe this." she breathed, her head shaking back and forth as she looked up at him, eyes glistening with tears, "Everything was perfect. _We_ were perfect. This can't be happening."

Sam took at step towards her, wanting to pull her into his arms but she stepped back, shaking her head, "Quinn..."

"Don't..." she started, holding her arms up in an attempt to keep him a safe distance away, "You can't just... You can't bring this up to me just a few _hours_ before you're planning on leaving town, Sam! You can_not_ expect me to just be okay with this! I _love_ you and you're leaving me!"

"You're acting like this is something I can control, Quinn!" Sam shouted, "My dad lost his _job_! You can't possibly think I would ever leave you if I had the choice!"

Quinn's lower lip started quivering and she knew holding the tears back was no longer possible. The first one fell over and she whimpered, "I know, I know... I just... I don't want to say goodbye, Sam."

Sighing softly, Sam reached for her again, thankful that she actually let him hold her this time, "I know, Quinn. I don't want to either, but... I have to go. My parents need me to take care of Stevie and Stacey. But we won't lose touch, okay? Text messages and emails, and I'll even write you some cheesy romantic letters."

A small laugh left Quinn's lips and the sniffling slowed a bit, "I'm going to miss you, Sam."

"I'm going to miss you too, Quinn." he murmured, pressing his lips to her cheek, "But I have to go. Do you need me to drop you off at home, or do you have cheerio practice today?"

Quinn shook her head, "Unfortunately, I have practice, so I have to stay here." she explained, feeling the pain wrap itself around her heart once more.

Frowning, Sam nodded, leaning forward to press his lips against hers for a brief moment before pulling back and murmuring, "I love you. Goodbye, Quinn."

Taking a deep breath, Quinn managed a faint smile, "I love you, too. Goodbye, Sam."

.

She should have been home by now, Rachel knew; her fathers were probably worrying about her not being home. Though, she knew they would have called her cell phone if they were truly worried. They probably just assumed she was doing some vocal practices in the choir room like she always was.

Sighing, Rachel couldn't help wishing it was that simple; Jesse was gone and she knew she would need to move past it eventually, but she couldn't bring herself to think about anything else for the time being. Not with the tears still threatening to bubble back up and the pain that had settled in her chest.

Sniffling, Rachel turned the corner, finding herself in the girls' locker room with a tearful Quinn Fabray standing just a few feet away.

Seeming to have spotted the tiny brunette, Quinn quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and glared at Rachel, who was doing the same with her own tears, "What do you want, Hobbit?"

Rachel inhaled deeply, shaking her head at Quinn as she spoke, hoping her voice wouldn't crack, "I was just..."

"You know what, I don't even care." Quinn mumbled, pushing herself off of one of the many red lockers, ready to push her way past Rachel when they heard a loud crash come from the door on the opposite end of the room; the door that led to the school's gym.

"What was that...?" Rachel asked, turning to Quinn who had become just as paranoid as she was - body tensed, rapid breathing visible from the erratic rising and falling of her chest.

"I don't know..." Quinn mumbled, "But I have this horrible feeling it might be whoever's been following me around since... Well, since we ended things with Finn. For good."

Rachel jerked her head in Quinn's direction, eyes wide, "You too?"

Quinn brows furrowed at the knowledge, wanting to question the tiny brunette more about it, but another sound made them jump and their attention was turned back to the door.

"We should probably go..." Rachel mumbled, the panic rising slowly, but Quinn shook her head.

"No." she said firmly, "Don't you want to know who's been following us?"

"Are you insane?" Rachel nearly shrieked, shaking her head, "What if it's some psycho? We don't have anything to protect ourselves with, Quinn!"

After contemplating Rachel's words, Quinn glanced around the room until settling on a basket of metal bats in the corner behind them. Walking over, she pulled one out for herself, and one for Rachel, who took it reluctantly before following Quinn towards the door to the gym.

"Maybe we should just call the police, Quinn..." Rachel mumbled, biting nervously at her lower lip.

"And tell them what? That we're on school grounds when we shouldn't be?" Quinn hissed, "That we heard a _noise_ in the other room?"

"Fine, fine!" Rachel gave an frustrated sigh and followed Quinn as she pushed the door open.

The instant they looked inside the metal bats in their hands clattered to the floor; their worlds were quickly falling apart at the seams.

.

Rachel was staring down at the dead bodies of her two fathers, blood pooled around them as the numbness took over. They were cold and as hard as stone. Their necks were ripped open and their hearts torn out, strewn across the room somewhere, she hadn't paid too much attention to where. The sight was a horrifying one, but Rachel couldn't pull away. They were her _fathers_, how could she?

Tearing her eyes from her own parents for a brief moment, Rachel looked over at Quinn - the girl who had made her life a living hell from the day they started middle school - who was doing the same with the corpses of her own parents. She looked as lost and devastated as Rachel felt.

Staring at the blood that had completely pooled far too quickly around herself and Quinn, Rachel found herself wondering; how had things gotten to this? What wrong had they done to deserve this? Sure, there had been several accounts where both girls had put their selfish needs above others, where they'd made mistakes and hurt people, but they'd gotten passed that. And those were the petty mistakes of two teenage girls, who would hold that against them?

She couldn't fathom.

She couldn't bring herself to even care. She could _not_ believe that this was actually happening.

The sudden sound of something crashing to the floor a little ways away, inside the boys' locker room, made the two girls jump. Their eyes went wide as they found themselves pulling away from the dead bodies of their parents and moving closer to each other, completely covered in blood as they started moving backwards in the directions of the double doors that were the entrance to McKinley High School's gymnasium.

"Rachel," came Quinn's harsh whisper as she gripped tightly at the brunette's arm, "We need to go."

Shaking her head, Rachel pulled her arm from Quinn's grasp, reaching for one of the metal bats they'd discarded at when they first entered the gym and hissing, "No. Not yet. I need to see who did this. I have to see the face of the monster that did this!"

Rachel's eyes were brimming with tears again, and almost as if it had heard her, the murderer stepped out of the boys' locker room and with it, a loud scream was pulled from both girls' lips.

"Rachel, _run_!" Quinn shouted, and the next thing she knew, she was being grabbed by Rachel, who had quickly discarded the bat she'd picked p and was pulling her towards the double doors that led out into the yard and exiting the building.

They stumbled a few times through the halls of McKinley High, earning them a few scratches, and a good amount of tears in their clothing, but they made it out alive. Still, the fear hadn't left Rachel for a moment; she'd been metaphorical in calling the murderer a monster, she hadn't been literal in any sense. But that was exactly what had stepped out of the boys' locker room. A monster. That was the thing that stepped into the gym almost as if at her demand.

And it had been hideous.

Blood red eyes with golden pupils, sharp teeth with elongated canines. It's body was mutilated, arms and legs bent at awkward angles, skin black with random spews of hair growing in certain places. It was obviously not human, but Rachel hadn't the slightest idea of what it could possibly be. Still, she was pretty damn sure that it was the person - or, well, _thing_ - that had been following her and Quinn around for the past few months.

She was running out of breath; she was positive they'd been running for hours, but in reality, she knew it couldn't have been nearly as long. She wanted to shout for Quinn, tell her to run faster, but she was scared of letting their pursuer knowing exactly where they were. Still, in order to make sure the blonde wasn't too far behind, Rachel risked a glance behind her. She was grateful to find Quinn not too far behind and even managed to grab a hold of the girl's hand to pull her along as she started running a bit faster.

She didn't want to risk running towards either of their houses until she was positive they were well ahead of whoever - _whatever_ - it was that was following them; though it struck her then as ridiculous, because it had gotten to their parents, so there was a very good chance that their pursuer already knew where they lived. The thought alone almost made her stop in her tracks.

Almost.

Still, her steps faltered slightly as she tried to think of where else to go; where on earth could they possibly run to without putting anyone else in danger? The possibilities of them running anywhere in town and keeping the people in it safe, were slim, so on a split second decision, Rachel started in the direction of the Lima Police Station.

The minute they arrived, the girls pushed the doors open together and everything after that particular point was nothing but a blur of all hell breaking loose; the officers running towards them as they screamed for help, the amount of officers that ran out the doors towards the school after they said their parents were there, the looks on their faces as the girls described the thing they'd seen, the fight they put up when they were told they were mentally unstable and in shock from seeing their parents bodies as they were.

Everything was nothing but a painful, painful blur. Not even the numbness that had enveloped them had made that pain go away. And the next thing they knew, they were being tranquilized inside the Lima Heights Sanatorium.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**two years later**

Rachel Berry stared down at the bottle of pills in her hand in disgust for a brief moment before throwing it into her bag of things with a glare.

She had desperately hoped that upon leaving this horrid place, there would be no need for them, but she was wrong. Oh, was she wrong. In fact, the 'doctors' had prescribed her - and Quinn - with refills to last them the next 7 months, and they were to get blood drawn every month so they were sure that the girls were actually taking them.

The sheer thought of it was infuriating; she was _not_ insane. No matter what those idiots who called themselves 'doctors' said.

"Rachel… Are you ready to go?"

Rachel turned to see Quinn standing in her doorway, an anxious look on her pretty face as she glanced around the empty white room, with its bare walls and polished surfaces. They'd never been that close, but after what they'd been through together, they were all they had left for each other.

"I'm ready." Rachel nodded, shutting her bag before slipping it over her shoulder, "What did they say?"

"They don't think either of us should be driving so soon, but they understand why we'd want to leave town right away and _blahblahblah_," Quinn sighed, "But to give this information to whatever doctor we get assigned to wherever we end up staying, so they can be sure we're getting our treatment there."

Rachel stared at the manila folder Quinn was holding, thick with papers and fought the urge to roll her eyes, "They're going to know if we don't do what they say, aren't they?"

Quinn grimaced, "They always do."

Sighing, the two girls walked towards the entrance, checked themselves out and collected their cell phones - the only things they'd had on them on the night they were checked in - before heading out of the building. Checking her phone, Quinn noted several text messages and missed calls from Sam, and felt a sharp pain in her chest at the thought of him; she wanted so desperately to call back, to talk to him and hear his voice, but everything was so different now and she didn't think she could relive all the insanity all over again by explaining all that had happened to her in the past two years.

Sighing, she cleared her inbox and all missed calls as the cold air began whipping at their faces.

"This is almost too good to be true…" Quinn mumbled, letting her eyes fall shut as she put her phone away and took everything in; the lack of chemicals in the air, the wind in their hair, the smallest warmth from the rays of sun that were piercing through the dark clouds above them - she'd missed it all so much.

Smiling at her friend, Rachel slipped her hand into hers and gave it a gentle squeeze before dialing the cab service, hoping that they drove this far out of town. She'd never really taken a cab before and was positive Quinn hadn't either; they'd both had cars and taken good care of them. So when the person on the other line agreed and told Rachel how much their ride into town would cost, she made sure to tell them that the driver would have to wait for them to get their wallets from the storage.

Rachel grimaced as the thought entered her mind; they'd have to get all their things out of storage soon, she really didn't want to end up having the bank throw in another payment. Their parents had left them enough money in their wills - wills that Rachel was amazed anyone would have so early in their lives - to keep them stable through their college years, but Rachel wanted to save as much of that money as possible.

They were going to be living on their own now, and though they were splitting bills wherever they went, it was still a large amount of money they'd be getting rid of. Granted, a lot of it was going to be gathering interest in the bank, and the health insurance had taken care of whatever treatment they were receiving in the sanatorium, but they would both be needing jobs soon. That however, required them to have a home, a stable home that they weren't going to bail out of any time soon. That was going to take some time to find.

It was a only a few more minutes before Rachel and Quinn were in the backseat of a yellow cab, on their way to the storage place they'd stuffed their things in when the real estate owners came by the sanatorium claiming that they'd need to empty out the houses soon or everything would be dumped in order to put the houses on the market again.

They'd been so distraught then, they literally almost told the men to do just that; the idea of keeping anything, really just made them hurt more than they already were. But their parents' lawyers had come along with the real estate agents and had told them to think things over, decide what things they wanted to keep so they could call a storage service to collect their things and store them away until they were released. After some time to think, they'd just decided to throw everything in there; they could sell, pawn or throw out whatever they didn't want or need when they got out.

Unfortunately, that didn't apply to their cars. Or Quinn's car, more specifically. Her parents hadn't finished the payments on it, so it was repossessed. They probably could have kept paying it, with the amount of money they had left, but they still had Rachel's car, whose dads had finished paying it off just a year before the incident. The storage services were kind enough to let them rent a whole other garage to keep the car in, without extra charge.

Rachel always assumed it was just a pity favor. She hated that.

Still, she knew they couldn't afford to refuse such an offer; they had nowhere else to leave the car, and there was a good chance even if they did leave it elsewhere, they'd be paying whoever was taking care of it, and she'd been as picky with spending money then as she was now. She supposed she'd put so much focus into it to keep her from going over the edge. Both of them, really, because Quinn had taken just as much interest in these things as she had, she was just a bit quieter about it. Preferred Rachel to do the talking, even if Quinn had just much input in all of this as she did.

"Alright, here we are girls." the driver spat as the cab came to a quick halt; Rachel had the sneaking suspicion he didn't trust them to come back with the money they owed him. The hostility in his voice didn't help change her mind much on the subject either.

"We'll be right back." Rachel answered, looking over at Quinn, who had already exited the vehicle and walked up to the small cubicle to get the keys to the garages that held their things and Rachel's car.

Quickly getting out of the car herself, Rachel couldn't help glancing over her shoulder every now and then; they'd been chased by… _whatever_ two years ago, but the paranoia hadn't gone away in the slightest. In fact, she was positive it had only gotten worse over the past two years.

Still, she caught up with Quinn and they quickly made their way through the maze of doors and quickly found the two that held their things and Rachel's car. The first thing Quinn reached for was her purse, pulling out a wallet and turning to Rachel, "I'll go pay the cab driver. You get the important things and get them into your car. I'm not staying in this town one night if we can avoid it."

Nodding, Rachel turned her attention back to the large mass of things staring at her as Quinn walked away; the first thing she grabbed was a suitcase popping out of the bottom right corner and pulled it open. Inside, there were a few papers that weren't all that important, so she tossed them into a nearby trash can and left it open as she quickly tried to spot her drawer set, pushing a few boxes and lamps out of the way to get to it. Once she reached it, she pulled it open and grabbed a few random sets of clothes - enough for about two weeks - before searching for Quinn's things. She had to delve a bit deeper, but quickly found a set of drawers slightly bigger than Rachel's and started doing the same, trying her best not to drop anything on the floor as she made her way back to the suitcase, where Quinn was pulling out another one to fill.

"You shouldn't have gotten everything at once," Quinn commented with a frown, "Something could have fallen on you."

Rachel shrugged, handing Quinn the hand that was holding her load of clothes before focusing on organizing her things in her own suitcase.

"So clothes…" Quinn mumbled, folding a few shirts, "We're going to need pillows and blankets; we're probably going to end up sleeping in the car a few times unless you want to splurge on a hotel."

"We'll see," Rachel sighed, "It'll still be better if we have our own things. Less mess to clean up."

"True." Quinn agreed, "I threw our make-up bags in your car while you were digging in there, but we might be forced to buy some shampoo and body wash along the way."

"Noted." Rachel sighed, "How much money do we have in cash?"

"After paying the cabby, I only have about $30." Quinn explained, "Have you checked your wallet?"

Shaking her head, Rachel folded the last dress she'd grabbed and shut her suitcase before going back in to look for her own purse. It was two years ago, but she was positive the last place her wallet had been was her small Victoria's Secret Pink brand tote bag. It took her another few minutes, but she finally found it in a random mass of picture frames. On pulling it out, Rachel dropped one, thankfully it didn't break, but at the sight of the picture it was holding, she almost did.

It was a photo of her and her two dads when she was about 8 years old. The picture had been taken by her dance instructor on the day of her first recital that year. Desperately trying to blink the oncoming tears away, Rachel flipped the frame over and hastily pulled the back of the frame off, taking the photo out and stuffing it into her tote before setting the frame back atop the mess of others.

Scuffling back towards Quinn, Rachel pulled out her wallet and counted the crisp bills that had been sitting in there for the past two years and frowned, "A little over $40." she told Quinn, "So that should do for the little things… And if we stay in the hotel, we use the credit cards."

"Right." Quinn nodded, "Well, I got the pillows and blankets into the backseats, threw the suitcases into the trunk… Is that all?"

Rachel turned to stare at the mess in the storage room and nodded, "Yeah. We'll find a place, and rent a moving van wherever we end up. One of us can drive the van back and the other, my car. Once there, we can pawn or sell whatever valuables we don't need and throw out anything else."

"Sounds like a plan." Quinn answered, pulling the door down and clasping the lock on before she followed Rachel to her car, waiting just outside as Rachel drove out of it so she could pull that door shut and lock it as well.

Once the blonde was inside, Rachel turned to her and asked, "So, where to?"

"Just drive," Quinn sighed, her gaze drifting towards the dark sky above them, "I'll let you know when we get there."

**[tbc.]**


	2. i wanna live my life

**entitled;** mad girls' love song  
><strong>summary; <strong>_I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my lids and all is born again. (I think I made you up inside my head.) _- Sylvia Plath; _Mad Girl's Love Song_  
><strong>rating;<strong> m  
><strong>disclaimer; <strong>i own nothing. if i did, these two shows would be one show already. and damon would be naked more often.  
><strong>notes;<strong> like the new changes? hate them? please, do let me know.

* * *

><p><strong>o1. i wanna live my life<strong>

.

_i wanna live my life wanna give you everything_  
><em>breathe for the first time now<em>  
><em>i come alive somehow<em>  
><em>right now<em>

- rebirthing ; skillet

* * *

><p>Eight hours.<p>

It took eight hours for the girls to drive from Mystic Falls to Lima. Add in the six hours it took for them to actually load all their things from storage into the moving van they'd rented, then the eight hour drive _back_ to Mystic Falls. It was needless to say that they were basically falling asleep on their feet upon arrival.

Opening the trunk of her car, Rachel did her best to a yawn as she muttered, "Just grab the inflatable mattress we bought. We'll be comfortable enough with the pillows and blankets we already have inside for now."

Quinn nodded and pulled the box out of the truck, motioning for Rachel to shut the trunk when she was done. Sighing softly, Rachel shut the trunk and hit the lock button on her keys before following Quinn into the house they'd bought together.

It was a two story, three room house with one full bathroom - it connected their rooms together - upstairs and one half bathroom downstairs. The third room, they'd decided to use as a guest room, though they really weren't too sure when they would ever have guests.

Still, it just felt like the normal thing to do.

Rachel snorted at the thought; she was positive nothing would ever be _normal_ again. Not for the two of them. No matter how hard they wished things could go back to the way they were, how much they wished to be enveloped in that horridly boring blanket of normalcy, Rachel knew it was not possible. She and Quinn had left normal behind the minute their paranoia had keyed them in on the fact that they were being followed.

That was probably what had Rachel the most terrified; it wasn't so much that she would no longer be considered normal by the outside world, but her own sense of normalcy. What she used to do on a daily basis; her lessons - vocal, dance, acting - her dreams, goals, life plans. They were all things that seemed strange and impossible now.

Shaking her head, Rachel continued her way up the cement path up to the open front door. Once inside, Rachel locked the door and headed into the living room to help Quinn move their pillows and blankets off the floor so they could set up the inflatable mattress on the wooden floor. The place was pretty much empty, with the exception of a few things. The knowledge that they'd be able to start setting things up soon honestly made Rachel feel a little more at ease in this town.

Once the mattress was inflated, and ready for use, the two girls collapsed and quickly drifted into a heavy sleep, the last thing running through their minds being the hope that the nightmares would stay away.

**.**

Rachel was pulled from her sleep by the sound of someone knocking on the front door. For a good while, her heart was racing a mile a minute and her paranoia was sky rocketing; she was positive she was still stuck in her nightmare when she heard Quinn groan in annoyance beside her.

"Are you going to get that or not?" she mumbled, not even bothering to lift her head from her pillow.

"I'm going, I'm going." Rachel sighed, taking a quick moment to run her fingers through her knotted and unruly hair before tying it into a low ponytail. After that, she made her way to the front door and pulled it open with the politest possible "Hello" she could muster on about 3 hours of sleep.

Standing about half a foot taller than her was a cute boy with messy dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes, just a shade lighter than her own. His hands slipped into his pockets as he mumbled, "Uh, hey, sorry to bother you but my sister, and, uh… my guardian wanted me to come over and ask if you were going to need some help unloading the truck."

Rachel blinked a few times, glancing behind the boy at the moving van before looking him back in the eyes, "Um, I'm sorry, not trying to be rude, or anything, but who are you?"

"Oh, sorry." he answered with a sheepish grin as he held his hand out to her, "I'm Jeremy. Jeremy Gilbert. I live right across the street from you with my sister and our guardian, Ric."

Rachel hesitated for a brief moment before taking his hand and offering him a strained smile, "Pleasure to meet you, Jeremy. I'm Rachel Berry. And I appreciate the offer, but my friend Quinn and I are trying to catch up on some sleep right now. We haven't really gotten any sleep since we took off with the moving van." she explained, biting down on her lower lip, "If you're still holding that offer later, we'd gladly take you up on it."

"Yeah, no problem." Jeremy answered with a grin, "It was nice to meet you too, Rachel. Just come on over when you need the help. Till then, I'll see you around."

"Yeah, see you around." Rachel nodded, letting the strained smile float away the minute Jeremy turned his back on her, allowing her to shut the door and lock it once more.

Rubbing at her tired eyes, Rachel stared at Quinn's sleeping form as she walked into the living room, knowing very well that she wasn't going to be asking for anyone's help any time soon. There was a faint smile on her lips as she looked down at the girl she used to avoid at all costs; the girl could sleep through anything.

Knowing very well that she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, Rachel turned to the only bag she'd kept inside the house - besides her suitcase - and pulled out the small orange bottle of pills she hated so much. Staring down at it for a hateful moment, she couldn't help wanting to flush the entire thing down the toilet and never having to look at another bottle of medication again. But if she and Quinn didn't start heading into the clinic in town to get their blood drawn within the next month, Rachel knew that the people at the Lima Heights Sanatorium would know somehow.

The thought alone sent shivers running up her spine.

Twisting the cap off, Rachel quickly dropped two pills into her hand before closing the small bottle, popping them into her mouth and swallowing. Once she was sure that she wasn't going to end up throwing them back up, Rachel threw the small bottle back into her bag and zipped it shut.

She was standing there for a few minutes before she stomped over to her suitcase with a frustrated sigh and threw it open, pulling out a change of clothes, her make up bag and her curler; there was no chance in hell she was going back to sleep, and with Quinn doing just that, they couldn't start moving the things into the house. So she was going to do the only things she could think of doing - enrolling them in school and job hunting. Maybe even get this visit of hers to the clinic over with.

**.**

About an hour and a half later, Rachel was walking out the front door with a manila folder holding all of her - and Quinn's - necessary information in it.

For someone on only three hours of sleep, Rachel let herself feel a little proud at how she held herself together. She knew that the Rachel she'd been - all gold stars and pink bejeweled microphones with her animal sweaters and plaid skirts had died the night her parents were murdered. But she was in a new place, with new people who didn't have a single clue who she was and she had the chance at a semi-decent life here, despite the terror that had forced itself into her heart.

So the first place she headed was Mystic Falls High School; the principal - Mr. Figgins - was a little hesitant to let her and Quinn in so late in the semester, especially with the fact that the classes they took the past two years were in the Lima Heights Sanatorium. Thankfully he didn't question her any further about that when she agreed to her and Quinn taking a few extra classes along with joining some after school clubs. Despite the fact that both girls had lost interest in music because of all that had occurred, the Glee Club at MFHS was the only club left that would still accept members this late in the year. Along with Cheerleading, which Rachel knew she would never be a part of, but decided she would mention to Quinn later, just in case.

It was about an hour and a half later that Rachel was in the main office, retrieving their class schedules and tucking them away into her folder, ready to start the job hunt.

That was definitely more brutal than enrolling them in school had been. Rachel was walking in and out of stores, boutiques and restaurants, and though a few were kind enough to let her fill out an application, each one of them insisted on the 'not currently hiring' part of it all.

Beyond exhausted and growing hungrier by the minute, Rachel decided on taking a break and getting something to eat at a place called the Mystic Grill. It seemed pretty empty for it being so late in the afternoon, but she preferred the lack of crowds thanks to a two year induced sense of claustrophobia.

The place was nice, decent size with pool tables and a bar - that had Rachel tempted in a way she'd never been before, at least not for alcohol - what she didn't expect was for her waiter to be none other than Jeremy Gilbert.

"Hey!" he called out as he walked over to her with a grin, "Rachel, right?"

"Right." Rachel answered, a faint smile on her lips, "What are the odds?"

"Well, the town is pretty small," he shrugged, "Did you manage to catch up on some of that much needed sleep?"

"Unfortunately, _no._ It pretty much eluded me after you left, so I decided I'd be productive." she answered with a light shrug, "I've been job hunting the past few hours, but no luck."

"Sorry about that." Jeremy mumbled, his brows furrowing a bit, "You probably would have been able to sleep longer if I hadn't shown up."

Rachel shook her head, dismissing his apology, "Don't worry about it. Technically, it's not your fault. You're sister was the one who sent you over anyway, right? So we can pin the blame on her."

Jeremy let out a soft laugh, "True, true." he nodded, "But if you're looking for a job, you could fill out an application here. I'm pretty sure the boss is looking for some fresh hands and I could put in a good word for you - though, I should warn you that I'm not the best employee, so I don't know how much good that'll do for you."

"Could you?" Rachel beamed, "Please? That would mean so much."

"Yeah, yeah. It's no problem." Jeremy grinned, "Come on and wait over by the bar, and I'll get you an application from the back."

Nodding fervently, Rachel got up, grabbed the things she had set down and followed Jeremy to the bar, where she stood as Jeremy headed into the back room.

She was sure Jeremy wouldn't take too long, but as she leaned against the bar counter, she took note of a not-so-silent man beside her.

Glancing over, she noticed that he had a little over half a foot on her in height, maybe just an inch or two taller than Jeremy was, even as he leaned over the counter top, flirting shamelessly with one of the female bartenders. His hair was dark, about as black as the night sky and he, himself, was dressed in black from head to toe, starting with his steel-toed combat boots and ending with a very expensive looking leather jacket.

He was downing drinks like no tomorrow.

"Don't you think you should save some for the late night alcoholics?"

Rachel was surprised the words had come out of her own mouth; her brows furrowed the minute the last words left her lips and she was having an internal struggle with the paranoia and anti-social anxiety that had become her best friends over the past two years. It wasn't until the stranger turned to meet her gaze that it halted for a moment.

Despite the fact that he seemed to radiate darkness - and she did _not_ mean just his clothes - his eyes were the brightest, most beautiful shade of blue Rachel had ever seen.

"Now would be the time for some charming, albeit sarcastic remark of mine, but as you clearly noticed," he started, glancing at the many empty bottles of scotch and whiskey scattered atop the bar counter, "I'm a little out of sorts right now. _And_, I don't believe I've ever seen _you_ around town before."

He'd gotten unbearably close within that minute or so, and though she couldn't deny the smirk he was wearing only increased his attractiveness, his alcohol breath did _not_.

"Just moved into town with a friend." Rachel answered as politely as possible, taking a small step back as she glanced over the counter, wondering how long it could possibly take Jeremy to get a single job application, "So, you wouldn't have seen me around."

"New in town." he repeated, seeming to sober up a little too quickly, his gorgeous eyes narrowed dangerously, "What'd you say your name was?"

Spotting Jeremy making his way over to them, Rachel felt relief course through her as she answered, "I didn't."

Before he could get another word out, Jeremy had returned, a sheepish grin on his lips as he handed her the application, "Sorry for the wait, we had a little trouble back there."

"Oh, it's no trouble." Rachel started, the smile on her lips fading the minute the man beside her interjected.

"No trouble at all, baby Gilbert. She was lucky enough to have me for company." he slurred, downing a shot of tequila before sending Rachel a charming smirk, which he seemed to know she caught sight of out of the corner of her eye.

"Day drinking, Damon?" Jeremy asked, his brows shooting up as he looked over at the man, "Elena's gonna be pissed when she finds out, you know that right?"

"_If_." the man - apparently Damon - corrected, "If she finds out. And she's not going to. _Right_?"

"Whatever," Jeremy rolled his eyes, turning back to Rachel just as she was deciding to slip away unnoticed, "Sorry about him. He's a dick."

"Ouch." Damon responded, feigning a look of hurt.

"It's no problem." Rachel answered, growing increasingly uncomfortable at having to stand beside that the man, "I should get going…"

"Oh, come on." Damon started, turning to Rachel and not bothering to hide the way his eyes darted up and down in his appraisal of her, "Jeremy, surely you can talk your little friend into staying for a drink."

Rachel was slowly growing all the more frustrated with this man; she truly didn't understand why, but he was getting under her skin and there was just something…_strange_ about him, "I'd appreciate it if you would stop speaking as if I didn't have the ability to speak for myself. My name is _Rachel Berry_, and I am not anyone's little friend." she snapped, her brown eyes locking with his blue ones as they narrowed into a glare, "I don't know either of you and you do not know me. And talking as if I wasn't simply standing in front of you is rude. Maybe if you stopped drowning yourself in alcohol for even a fraction of a second, you'd realize that."

Taking a deep breath, Rachel turned to face Jeremy, shooting him an apologetic glance as she said, "Thank you for the application, Jeremy. I'll fill it out at home and bring it in as soon as possible. I really appreciate it."

Without waiting for either of them to respond, Rachel turned on her heel and made her way towards the Mystic Grill, her hunger forgotten as she fought the urge to comment when she heard Damon's voice mumble, "Feisty. You know how to pick 'em, Gilbert."

Rachel knew she was overreacting, but she couldn't let it go. It wasn't just the words or actions of a drunk man that disturbed her and had gotten under her skin - she'd dealt with that countless times. No. It was the fact that he was model gorgeous, possibly the _most_ gorgeous man she'd ever met in her life, and he hadn't fazed her one bit. She was a _teenage girl_, with hormones, and ridiculous hopes for true love. She was supposed to swoon and stutter, and pine for the older, gorgeous man, regardless of his drunken state.

But she didn't. She wasn't. She was noticing the fact that there was something strange about the man. Something _inhuman_ radiating off of him and his looks. She was doing the complete opposite of everything they'd taught her in that hell hole she'd been stuck in. That was probably why she needed to get out of there, and away from the attention as soon as possible so she could go back to the small bubble of solitude she'd created for herself.

Sighing heavily, Rachel pulled the elastic band from her hair and ran her fingers through the quickly fading curls, tidying them before tying her hair back into a ponytail once more, and slipping the application into her bag as she walked back to her car. Things really weren't ever going to be normal again. At least not for her.

She'd had so many dreams before her parents were murdered; so many things she wanted to get done and she'd lost interest in _everything_. Dancing, acting, _singing_. She hadn't been able to belt out a tune since then, and she was starting to feel like she'd never want to again. The passion and love for music was just…_gone_. And Rachel was terrified she'd never be able to get it back.

Maybe that's why she'd been able to agree to her and Quinn joining Glee club so easily. She knew they'd need it regardless; they needed some kind of extracurricular if Figgins was going to let them enroll. Still, she could have argued a little more on _what_ said extracurricular could have been. Rachel knew that there was still the smallest bit of hope that singing in Glee club would bring back that fire she'd had before. The longing for stardom. Deep down, though, she knew that she couldn't possibly go back to loving the chance to be on stage the way she used to. Not when her two biggest supporters were six feet under.

The simple thought of never seeing her fathers after another performance and telling her how proud they were… It was all too painful for Rachel. They were gone. She was never getting them back, and music would be nothing but a constant reminder.

It was upon reaching a red light that Rachel took in the whites of her knuckles; she'd been gripping the steering wheel too tightly. Willing herself to relax, she loosened her grip on the steering wheel and inhaled deeply, her eyes falling shut for a brief second.

She was trying to play the normal teenage girl. To be the girl she used to be when she was no longer anywhere near being the same person. And she never would be. Not again. Hadn't she and Quinn been so set on moving so they could start anew? Have a completely fresh start somewhere else? New place, new people. They were going to start over. Be different people.

Rachel was realizing, however, that she had a death grip on the past and she didn't know how to let go.

There was a honk from the car behind her and her eyes flew open, her hands tightening on the steering wheel again as she hit the gas. Rachel didn't even get the chance to get a glimpse of the person who'd honked when a sleek, blue Chevy Camaro sped by on the lane to her left.

Brows furrowing, Rachel mumbled a string of curse words under her breath as she continued her drive back home. Upon arriving, she spotted Quinn and two other people walking from the moving van into the house.

Parking her navy blue Prius up front, Rachel quickly got out of the car and hit the lock button on her keys as she sent Quinn a questioning glance. The blonde was walking down the front steps of their house when she spotted the tiny brunette, "Oh! You're home." a faint smile slipped onto her lips, "I saw you weren't home when I finally got up, so I picked up and started taking things inside."

"I see." Rachel nodded, "And your helpers…?"

"Are Elena Gilbert and Alaric Saltzman." Quinn answered, reaching up to brush a few loose strands of blonde hair behind her ear, "I was a little paranoid at first, but Elena and Ric really wouldn't take no for an answer."

Rachel smiled, a small thing as she took in her friend's appearance; her hair was tied into a messy bun at the base of her neck, with several strands falling loose to frame her face. She was dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants and a baby blue t-shirt that was a good two sizes too big and she wasn't wearing a single ounce of make up.

Quinn was naturally pretty, so really, she had nothing to worry about, but Rachel couldn't help thinking that the Quinn from two years ago wouldn't have been caught dead looking like that, especially not in front of people.

"Hey, you must be Rachel." said the person Quinn had pointed out as Ric as he and Elena walked over to them, "I'm Alaric Saltzman."

"And I'm Elena." the tall brunette smiled, offering her hand to the smaller girl, "We live across the street."

"That would be me, yes." Rachel nodded, forcing a smile as she shook Elena's hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you both, Thank you so much for the help. I hope it hasn't been too much trouble."

"Not at all." Alaric answered, "We were glad to help. Though, I swore we told Jeremy to come over earlier to ask if you guys needed any help."

"He did." Rachel answered, not wanting to get the boy into any trouble, "But we were catching up on sleep and I told him that I would let him know when we needed his assistance."

"Ah, I see." Alaric nodded, "Long drive to and fro?"

"Eight hours to get there, eight to come back." Quinn answered, her soft yawn causing Rachel to do the same as she was reminded that she'd gotten even less sleep than Quinn had.

"And you guys didn't stop anywhere?" Elena asked, her brows shooting up in surprise.

"Well, for gas and restroom breaks," Quinn shrugged, "But other than that, not really."

"Harsh." Alaric mumbled.

"Not really." Quinn and Rachel answered at the same time, glancing at each other for a brief second before letting out bits of quiet laughter.

"You two are really close." Alaric commented, glancing between the two of them, "But not related."

"Right." Rachel nodded, reaching for Quinn's hand and giving it a light squeeze.

"We've been through a lot together." Quinn answered softly, squeezing Rachel's hand in return.

Their two neighbors glanced at each other, and suddenly it clicked in Rachel's mind what exactly it was they were thinking, "We're not lesbians." she said quickly, her cheeks flushing darkly, "We're just really good friends."

Rachel glanced at Quinn, to see she was turning a dark shade of pink herself.

"Sorry." Alaric blurted quickly, "We're not against it, or anything. Most of the people in town are pretty open-minded, actually. I just… We just wanted to make sure, I guess. So the two of you wouldn't feel the need to hide it if you were… But you're not. You're not?"

"_We're not_." the two girls answered in unison.

He and Elena mumbled a quick 'Sorry' before all their attention was turned to the blue car that had sped past Rachel while she was driving back home. Suddenly Rachel was getting the feeling she knew exactly who it was that had been driving that car.

The person in the car parked right in front of the house across the street from their new home and just as she'd guessed, the driver's side door opened and out stepped the dark knight from the Grill, his bright blue eyes hidden behind a pair of black Ray Bans.

"Damon?" Elena called out, her brows furrowing as both she and Alaric turned their attention towards his form, "I told you I was going to head over to Bonnie's with Caroline for the night."

"Yet here you are," Damon started, walking over to them and removing his shades as he did so, "I wanted to talk to you two," he explained, but the minute he caught sight of Rachel, the smirk he'd donned earlier at the Grill returned.

"Talk to us about what?" Alaric ushered, but Damon's attention had been diverted for the time being.

His attention was on Rachel, who was silently fuming, "How's it going, Little One?"

Rachel could practically feel the surprise coming off of the other three - particularly Elena - but she couldn't even focus on that to keep her from seething, "I _told_ you earlier, I have a name. _Use it._"

"So touchy." Damon rolled his eyes, "_Rachel_. Happy now?" he sighed, his gaze landing on her blue Prius and pulling the smirk back to his lips, "So _you_ were the one holding up traffic earlier."

"I'd be happier if you'd drowned in the alcohol you were drinking," Rachel mumbled under her breath, glaring at him for his comment, "I did _not_ stop traffic. And what was the point in honking if all you ended up doing was speeding right past me afterwards?"

"I _honked_ because you were falling asleep at the steering wheel." Damon countered, taking a few steps towards her as she crossed her arms over her chest, "Unless you would have preferred me to leave you there for someone else to find."

"I was resting my eyes." Rachel quipped, knowing very well she didn't sound as convincing as she'd hoped she would.

"_Right_." he responded, his smirk seeming to grow wider with every step towards her, "And I bet I know what you were thinking about while you were resting those eyes."

Rachel's brows shot up as she fought the urge not to roll her eyes at this blue eyed nuisance, "Oh _really_? And what exactly was I thinking about?"

"Me." he stated simply, "You couldn't get me out of your head because I got under you skin far too easily."

Rachel shifted uncomfortably at his words - and she was sure she'd hurt a strangled sound leave Elena's lips at those words; though she hadn't been thinking about him at that precise moment, that _was_ the reason she'd snapped at him in the Grill, and she'd spent a good half of the drive home thinking about this idiot. But she couldn't give him the satisfaction of letting him know that he was practically reading her thoughts.

"You couldn't get me out of your head from the moment you left." he continued, the smirk on his lips making her want to gauge his eyes out at this point, "And you couldn't help wanting to see me again."

"Oh, you caught me." Rachel sighed, holding her hand to her heart as her voice ran thick with sarcasm, "I haven't been able to think of _anything_ other than the sight of your drunken state. Because it was _soooo_ attractive seeing you in that light."

Rachel was getting irritated. She wanted this man to just go away, and she was about to say so when a smile slipped onto her lips at the sound of Quinn's snort coming from beside her.

"What's so funny, Blondie?" Damon asked, throwing his attention in her direction.

Quinn's eyes narrowed at the nickname, and Rachel knew instantly that Quinn wasn't going to like this man much either, "My name is _Quinn_. Quinn Fabray."

"What kind of a name is Quinn? I like Blondie better." he shrugged, quickly turning his attention back to the people he'd originally claimed to be here for.

The minute he turned to them, however, Elena blurted out, "How do you know Rachel?"

Almost as if he couldn't resist it, Damon threw his arm around Rachel's shoulders and pulled her in close as the smirk returned to his lips, "Oh, me and this one? We go _waaaaay_ back."

"Get off me!" Rachel shrieked, shoving him away just in time to catch the look on Elena and Alaric's faces; it was almost as if they were suddenly seeing her in a different, highly unflattering light, "Don't believe a word of it." she snapped, "I met this drunken idiot just before I drove over here from the Mystic Grill, where he was drinking like it was his life sentence as I waited for Jeremy to bring me a job application."

Alaric and Elena seemed to visibly relax after her hasty explanation, but were just as quickly giving Damon looks of annoyance.

"What?" Damon asked, holding his hands up in defense, "God, can no one in this town take a joke?"

Rachel couldn't help the feeling that there was something she was missing in the conversation between the three of them, but she really wasn't in the mood to find out; she'd had enough of Damon's heretics for the day.

"It was nice meeting you," Rachel mumbled, and at Damon's look of surprise, she quickly added, "Elena and Alaric." She didn't want to give him any implication that she would _ever_ want to see him again - despite the fact that in a town this small, they were bound to run into each other regardless, "But I've only had three hours of sleep in the past 36 hours, so I'm going to go get some sleep. Thank you again for helping Quinn unload the moving van."

"It was no problem." Elena answered, a strained smile on her lips; it didn't take a genius to figure out that there was something going on between her and Damon, and his little antics with Rachel had made her uncomfortable.

"Not at all." Alaric continued, "I'm just sorry you had to deal with this Salvatore on the first day here."

"Hey." Damon called out, rolling his eyes at Alaric before turning his attention to Rachel, "See you around, Little One."

For some reason, the look he gave her at that moment unnerved her more than any of the flirty looks he'd given her back at the Grill. Even more than the semi-glare she'd received from him upon mentioning that she was new in town. The look in his eyes was somewhat stoic; no smirk, no grin, no glare. But his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes. It was as if they were looking right through her, and daring her to look away.

And she thinks that maybe that's why she couldn't bring herself to tell him not to call her 'little one' as she quickly turned her gaze towards Quinn, "Are you going to come inside or stay out here?"

"Ah, I was going to head up and change quickly; get myself on a job hunt as well before the day's over." Quinn answered sheepishly, before giving Rachel a nervous look that she was all too familiar with, "Will you be alright alone in the house?"

Sometimes, Rachel honestly hated that look; it meant that Quinn wasn't alright with leaving Rachel alone. There had to be some other person around for Rachel to avoid getting that look. She knew Quinn was just being a good friend with the worry she showed for Rachel, but there were times when Rachel just wanted to tell her to stop. She wasn't the only one affected by what happened to their parents. She wasn't the only one who had to put up with constant medication and solitary confinement in LHS. So why was Quinn acting like the responsible - _sane_ - parent while Rachel was getting treated like an unstable head case?

Both girls had developed different… _problems_ during their time at LHS. Both diagnosed with certain diseases as a result of their post-traumatic stress. But Rachel supposed she'd gotten worse off.

Where Quinn had developed an obsessive compulsive disorder, anorexia nervosa, hemophobia, autophobia, paranoia and chronic nightmares, Rachel had developed extreme paranoia, chronic nightmares, severe depression, bipolar disorder and slight schizophrenia thanks to her random spouts of hallucinations.

And it was _that_, Rachel knew, that scared Quinn the most. Despite the fact that her hallucinations were few, Rachel knew that Quinn was paranoid about them happening whenever she wasn't around to help bring her friend back to her senses.

"I'll be okay." Rachel nodded, offering the blonde a small smile that she hoped looked as sincere as she'd intended it to be, "You do what you have to do, I did leave you alone to carry all that inside on your own."

"I had help." Quinn countered.

Ignoring the sudden pang in her chest, Rachel fought to keep her smile in place, "True. But I'll be fine, really. Don't worry about me."

Quinn hesitated a moment before throwing her arms around the tiny brunette, both girls completely ignorant to the uncomfortable silence being shared by the three people standing only a few feet away from them, "Sleep well then, okay? I'll be back soon."

When Quinn pulled back, Rachel nodded, "You go up and change now. I'll go lock up the back of the van before heading inside myself."

Nodding, Quinn smiled at her before turning to Elena and Ric, and saying, "Thank you so much for your help. I'll see you guys around."

Letting out a soft laugh, Elena shook her head, "It was no problem, honestly."

"I guess that's our cue to leave." Alaric stated as Rachel started making her way towards them, "We'll be across the street if you need anything. I'll see you tomorrow at school."

Just as she was getting ready to thank him for the offer, Rachel's brows furrowed, "At school?"

Damon, seeming to have returned to his idiotic self, waggled his eyebrows at Rachel, "Didn't he tell you? He's the school's hot history teacher."

Alaric rolled his eyes and gave his friend a light shove, "_Shut up,_ Damon."

Rachel's brows shot up, "Oh. Okay. Well, I'll see you then, I suppose… Thanks again." she mumbled, not entirely too sure how she felt about that little fact.

Not seeming too amused by Damon's behavior, Elena scowled at him before giving Rachel a light wave, "Goodbye Rachel."

"Bye Rachel."

"Later, Little One."

"Bye Elena, Alaric." Rachel answered, giving them a quick wave as she turned in the direction of the moving van, "Salvatore."

"Last name basis." Damon's voice filled her ears, even as the three of them started their way across the street, "Ouch."

"Idiot." Rachel huffed just as the front door flew open and Quinn was running down the front steps.

"Alright, I'm ready, and in less than ten minutes, too." Quinn murmured, running her hands through her loose locks and pausing when she caught sight of Rachel's irritated expression, "What? Do I not look good?"

Seeming temporarily confused, Rachel blinked at her blonde friend before shaking her head, "No, no! You look fine. It's nothing... Just stupid Damon, person..."

Quinn arched a brow, arms crossing over her chest as she watched Rachel with a rather calculating gaze, "He really got under your skin, didn't he?"

Not liking the look on Quinn's face, Rachel turned her attention to the van, climbing onto the open truck bed to yank at the door, "He did _not_. He's an annoying prick."

Jumping off the truck bed, Rachel slammed the door shut and slapped on the lock. Turning back to Quinn, she caught sight of the blonde's disbelieving gaze and asked, "What? He _is_."

"Whatever you say, Rachel." Quinn sighed, a small smile on her lips as she stepped forward to hug her friend, "I'll see you tomorrow if I don't wake you when I make it home tonight, m'kay?"

Rachel hugged her back, nodding when they pulled back and shooting her as convincing a smile as she could manage, "Good luck with the hunt."

Quinn nodded, mumbled a small thanks before turning on her heel and heading off. Rachel watched for a few minutes as she walked away before making her way up the walkway to the front door, her earlier exhaustion quickly returning.

Walking into the house, Rachel quickly moved to lock the door, hoping Quinn had remembered to snag her key before leaving the house as she took in the progress they'd made while she was gone.

They had set up the living room. The black leather sofa that had been in Quinn's house was now sitting parallel to the wall where Rachel's dads' 52" HD flat screen hung and perpendicular to the same Lay-Z Boy brand leather recliner, a rectangular glass coffee table sitting in the middle of the room in between the sofa and the television.

She would have gone up to check their bedrooms, but it was as she was taking all this in that the exhaustion finally took over and she found herself laying down on the sofa, burying herself under the folded covers that had been sitting on top of it.

Snuggling closer to the warmth that they brought, Rachel found it odd that just before the darkness overtook her, the only thing running through her mind was that 'Salvatore' was Italian for Savior. Upon that realization, Rachel let out a soft snort and suddenly she was dreaming of wolves, black crows and _saviors_.

**[tbc.]**


	3. the pain carries on

**entitled;** mad girls' love song  
><strong>summary; <strong>_I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my lids and all is born again. (I think I made you up inside my head.) _- Sylvia Plath; _Mad Girl's Love Song  
><em>**rating;** m  
><strong>disclaimer; <strong>i own ian somerhalder. except not really. i would like to though.  
><strong>notes;<strong> this chapter has gone over a complete makeover, to give you guys a fair warning. I wanted to focus more on the trauma in both girls a little more in the beginning, the way I hadn't really done all that well in the previous version of this chapter. It's been two years, but they're both just getting back into the routine of living their lives; they're _sick_, and they have these constant reminders of the things they went through, and I wanted to address that some more. Please to let me know what you think. (also, please excuse any grammatical errors, it's two in the morning that i'm finishing this up and really don't have the energy to edit this giant piece of work).

* * *

><p><strong>the pain carries on<strong>

.

_your heart is full of broken dreams_  
><em>just a fading memory<em>  
><em>and everything's gone but the pain carries on<em>  
><em>lost in the rain again<em>  
><em>when will it ever end<em>

- not alone ; **red**

* * *

><p>When she wakes up the next morning, Rachel's in her bed, images of beady black eyes and wings fluttering through her mind. She isn't exactly sure whether she's more paranoid about the dream, or the fact that she'd woken up in her bed when Quinn was nowhere near strong enough to carry Rachel up to her room on her own, no matter how short Rachel was.<p>

Pushing herself into a sitting position, Rachel glanced around the room, cluttered with unpacked boxes labeled '_Rachel_', in search for her cell phone. She quickly located it on the small bedside table and reached for it, groaning when she read '_3:38 a.m._' on the brightly lit screen.

She should have expected it, really. She had, after all, fallen asleep pretty early the previous day. Still, the idea of being up so early after her annoyingly cryptic dreams was not pleasant. Especially since she couldn't converse with Quinn to pull her mind away from them. She knew the blonde was just a room away, but the knowledge wasn't doing much to keep her paranoia at bay.

Sighing softly, Rachel slid off of her bed, setting her cell phone back on her bedside table. She did her best to walk over to where her light switch was right next to her door, trying not to trip over any of the boxes near the side of her bed. Once the light was on, Rachel blinked a few times, allowing her eyes to grow accustomed to the sudden brightness in the room.

Glancing around the room, Rachel couldn't help feeling the slightest bit awkward; she was standing wide awake in a too-bright room, at 3:40 in the morning. She supposed it wouldn't be so bad if her paranoia wasn't keyed up so high. It was ridiculous, she knew, dwelling on dreams that probably meant absolutely nothing and getting so worked over ending up on her bed when she'd fallen asleep on the couch. For all she knew, she could have walked up herself and couldn't remember it because she'd been so exhausted.

Inhaling deeply, Rachel dragged her hands over her face and willed her mind to stop its erratic thought process. It was most definitely _far_ too early in the morning for her to start losing it.

Feeling herself calm considerably, Rachel glanced around the room once more before she set to work.

.

It was about half-past six when Quinn poked her head into Rachel's room through their joint bathroom. Her mind was foggy and she had to squint against the brightness of the light, but she was able to register her best friend's newly organized room.

"Whoa, Rach," Quinn mumbled, feeling herself wake up a bit more, "Have you been up the whole night?"

The tiny brunette shook her head, folding an empty cardboard box and tossing it with the others before moving to the last box, "Just a few hours, really. Almost three."

Quinn's eyes widened the slightest bit, "You fixed all this up in three hours?"

It probably wouldn't have been as shocking if Rachel's furniture was in the same place, but it looked like the tiny girl had pushed her bed into the corner farthest from both the bathroom door and the door that led into the hallway. Her drawer set was now right beside her closet, which was reasonably sized and had a sliding door, something Quinn supposed was rather convenient, now that she'd placed the drawer set right beside it. Her bedside table had been moved to the other side of the bed, so it wouldn't get caught in between the bed and the wall, Quinn assumed. Everything was neat and orderly, and it seemed all Rachel had left to do was put away her clothes.

"I did." Rachel answered with a curt nod, reaching into the box and pulling out what looked to be a pile of animal sweaters.

"Please tell me you're getting rid of those." Quinn blurted out, regretting it almost immediately.

Rachel's eyes began to glaze over with tears Quinn knew she was fighting not to shed, her hands clutching tightly at the thick fabric of a red sweater with an ugly owl plastered onto the front.

"Ah, Rachel… I'm sorry." Quinn muttered, walking over to her friend and kneeling beside her, "I didn't mean… It just came out."

Reaching up to wipe at her eyes, Rachel shook her head, "No, it's fine. I know you didn't mean it in a bad way or anything. I was… I _am_ planning on getting rid of a lot of clothing, and replacing it with an entirely new wardrobe, but I was planning on putting that off until we each got jobs at least. So I know we have a steady flow of money and aren't just pulling more money from the bank that could run out any minute. But, these sweaters…"

Rachel's voice cracked, and Quinn spotted her knuckles going white as she clutched the sweater in her hands that much tighter. Gently, she slid her hands over Rachel's and pried her hands from the itchy fabric, and held them tightly in between both of hers, "I know. They were all from your dads."

Rachel nodded, letting herself sink into Quinn as she pulled her into her arms and held her into a tight embrace. "We'll put them away. You can get new clothes whenever you want, and if you want to keep them, keep them. It's up to you and I'll be behind you one-hundred percent, okay?"

The girl in her arms sniffled and pulled back, seeming more composed than she previously was, "We should probably get ready for school…"

Quinn glanced towards the digital clock Rachel had set up on her bedside table, the numbers '_6:56 a.m.'_ glowing brightly against their black background. School started at 8:00 a.m., meaning the two girls had little over an hour to get ready and get to class on time.

"We most definitely should." Quinn nodded, pushing herself to her feet and offering Rachel a hand once she was up. The brunette took it, letting Quinn pull her upright before she moved over to close up the box of animal sweaters and carry it into her closet, "Do you need help deciding what to wear? I could help if you want…"

Rachel shot Quinn a small smile and shook her head, "No, it's okay. I think I can find something on my own. You go on and shower. I'll go in after you."

Quinn hesitated for a brief moment before turning and making her way back into her own room to pick some clothes so she could head into the shower.

.

The morning seemed to be nothing but a blur as the girls made their way out of their new home.

Or at least, Quinn hoped it would be their home. The notion would have seem strange to anyone else, but she and Rachel knew that this place - whether they lived here for a few months, or several years - would only _truly_ be home if they were able to move past all that happened and started a better life there. If they were able to feel at peace there. Until then, home, for both of them, was buried six feet under in one of the very few cemeteries in Lima.

"Quinn?"

Quinn blinked, dragging herself from her thoughts and turning her attention to the tiny brunette standing next to the driver's side door of her car, "Yeah?"

Rachel pulled her lower lip in between her teeth, seeming all of a sudden hesitant, "Did… When you got home last night was I already in my bed?"

Quinn's brows furrowed at the question, but she nodded, "Yeah… Why?"

"I just don't remember how I got up there…" Rachel admitted, her own brows furrowing as her gaze fell to the window in front of her, "I guess I was just that tired."

Quinn's eyes narrowed at Rachel's nervous laugh; it was easy to tell when she was trying to put Quinn at ease nowadays. Rachel didn't like Quinn worrying about her, so she would brush things off like they were no big deal and it frustrated her.

"Rach… If something's bothering you, you can tell me." Quinn told her, hoping her straightforward approach to this situation wouldn't end with them in a fight; they might have grown close over the two years they'd been through hell, but they were both incredibly stubborn and the smallest of disagreements could end in disaster if they were dead set on their opinions.

"It's really nothing," Rachel insisted, pulling her door open, "The paranoia just got a hold of me pretty early this morning. I mean, I woke up at three in the morning and you know how I am right after a nightmare, so waking up in my bed when I remember falling asleep on the sofa just sent my usual paranoia up a notch."

Quinn continued to eye Rachel suspiciously, but nodded. She _did_ know what Rachel's paranoia was like, and this wasn't even as bad as it got. Still, it was always pretty hefty right after Rachel was pulled out of one of her many nightmares, so she understood Rachel's need to dismiss the topic. She got paranoid, too. The nightmares were never any good and her paranoia did nothing to help the constant fear that overwhelmed her right after she woke up. It sucked, and Quinn wasn't sure they were ever going to be able to get past that, but she was simply grateful it wasn't as horrible as it had been the first six months they'd been at LHS.

"You're going to be late if you're going to keep standing around all day."

Quinn's eyes shot to the boy crossing the street with Elena, brows furrowing as he grinned at Rachel and she smiled back.

"It's not even that far a drive." Rachel argued, her earlier worries seemingly dismissed and leaving Quinn wondering how this boy had managed to make Rachel smile so easily.

He laughed, shrugging, "Whatever you say."

"What about you?" Rachel asked, crossing her arms over her chest, "You're not even _driving_ and you're telling me that Quinn and I are going to be late."

He looked like he was going to say something, but Elena intervened, "Ric had to head to school early to get some things done, so Jer and I are walking."

"We could drive you guys." Quinn blurted, grabbing the attention of all three people - Rachel in particular was shooting her a questioning look, "If you want..?"

"That'd be great, actually. I mean, if you guys don't mind." Elena sputtered, "Ah, I don't think you've even met Jer, sorry, that was rude of us. This is my brother, Jeremy."

Quinn smiled at him, giving a small wave as she tried to ignore how strained it felt on her lips, "Hi Jeremy, I'm Quinn."

"Uh, yeah, hey." he nodded sheepishly, "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." Quinn nodded, quickly turning her attention to Rachel.

"Alright, now we really _will_ be late if we don't get moving." Rachel announced, turning to Jeremy and Elena with a strained smile of her own, "So come on, it would be rude of us to have taken up your time and _not_ offer you a ride."

"Thanks so much." Elena murmured, opting for a back seat with Quinn as Jeremy shot to the front passenger seat.

"It's no problem, really." Rachel replied, slipping into the driver's seat and immediately starting up the car.

"It really isn't," Quinn confirmed, slipping on her seatbelt and smiling at Elena; a not so strained one this time.

"You say that," Elena started, pausing to glance at Rachel and Jeremy in the front, who seemed to have quickly delved into some heated conversation in the front seat as the car pulled onto the street, "But I can't help feeling a little rude. You just moved into the neighborhood and _you're_ the ones giving _us_ a ride. Shouldn't that be the other way around?"

Quinn let out a soft laugh, purposefully keeping her attention off the conversation between Jeremy and Rachel, and on Elena, "I swear, it's totally fine. And if you're still feeling rude, you and your brother can show us around campus throughout the day. Lord knows we're going to need it."

Elena laughed and nodded, "You've got yourself a deal."

"Good." Quinn grinned, "Now, anything I should be worried about here?"

"Worried about?" Elena's brows furrowed in though for a few moments before she gave a light shrug and shook her head, "I don't think so… I mean, unless you plan on getting on Santana's bad side. But she's been better since she got with Brittany, so I think you're good."

"Ah, I see." Quinn nodded, running a hand through her hair, "From experience I'm going to go ahead and guess head cheerleader type?"

"You would be right." Elena answered with a small laugh, "She got the top spot when I quit. My friend Bonnie followed soon after, so it's always like some war between her and my other friend Caroline. It's actually gotten even worse since Rebekah's shown up…"

Quinn tried her best not to space out as Elena droned on about the seemingly never-ending war for head cheerleader. Two years ago, the mere thought of cheerleading and the battle for the top spot would have sent her adrenaline running. She had loved cheerleading. Sure, the popularity attached to it had done wonders for her high school life, but she genuinely loved the sport.

Now, listening to Elena go on and on about it did nothing more than make her feel slightly numb.

Sighing softly, she forced herself to focus on the words coming out Elena's mouth and asked, "So Rebekah's not a nice person?"

Elena's expression turned serious as she shook her head, "Not in the slightest. I'd really recommend you and Rachel avoid her at all costs."

The urgency in Elena's voice made Quinn's eyes narrow the slightest bit in suspicion; she'd known enough of cruel female behavior her whole life, being one of the mean girls herself, but she could have sworn Elena sounded legitimately frightened of this Rebekah girl.

Quinn was about ready to question her on the topic when Rachel turned into the school parking lot.

"Here we are." she called out with a grimace on her face.

Quinn had no doubts memories of torment at McKinley were flooding through her mind at the moment. They were certainly running through Quinn's. Granted, she'd been one of the _tormentors_ instead of the tormented, but she'd learned enough of Rachel's own misery to understand how traumatic the idea of going back to any school would be. It was mainly the reason she had asked Elena if there was anything the girls needed to worry about in school, really. She didn't want to subject Rachel - or herself - through any ridicule. They really didn't need that right now. Or at all.

After Rachel parked the car, the four of them stepped out and parted ways, Quinn and Elena headed towards the P.E. area while Rachel followed Jeremy to the science building, laughter bubbling from her lips at something Jeremy said as she waved goodbye.

The sight of Rachel laughing should have made Quinn happy. It had been so long since her best friend had seemed genuinely happy with anyone other than herself that the sight of someone else making her friend happy made her feel kind of lonely. Like she wasn't the only person Rachel needed anymore.

"Quinn? Are you okay?"

The sound of Elena's voice made Quinn come crashing back down to reality, her cheeks flushing the slightest bit as she realized she'd been at a standstill in front of the girls' locker room for the past five minutes, "Uh, I'm sorry. Just nerves getting to me, I think."

One of Elena's thin brows rose in response to Quinn's words, but the brunette nodded regardless, "It's fine. Anyway, Coach Sylvester's a bit of a hard ass… Well, more than a bit. A complete one, actually. But just try not to get on her bad side. I'd say stay on her good side, but no one believes she actually has one of those, so… Yeah. Don't get on her bad side."

Quinn let out a soft laugh and nodded, "Got it."

Elena smiled, "Alright, well, I'll catch you here after class, alright?"

"Alright." Quinn replied, waving as Elena walked away before she walked into the locker room and headed straight for Coach Sylvester's office; she hadn't originally planned on trying to join the cheerleading squad, but suddenly she couldn't think of much else.

.

"So, I heard from Elena and Ric that you had to put up with Damon some more yesterday."

Rachel rolled her eyes at the mention of the name, trying not to let her unease show as images of the crow from her dreams flashed through her mind; it was ridiculous to believe Damon was in anyway related to the stupid bird from her dreams.

"Unfortunately," she replied, tilting her head as she turned to look at Jeremy, "Is he always-"

"Such a dick?"

Rachel blinked, a small grin creeping onto her lips soon after, "I was going to say 'so annoying' but I suppose that fits in just as well."

"Haha, yeah." Jeremy nodded, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck, "I mean, I guess he's not _all _bad lately, but he's definitely a pain in the ass a majority of the time."

Rachel's lips pursed as she nodded in understanding, "He definitely seems it."

"You'll get used to it." Jeremy told her, a warm smile on his lips as they came upon a building on the far right corner of the school, "So, your class is in here. I'll meet you right here after class to show you to your next one, alright?"

Rachel nodded, an easy smile on her lips, "Alright. Thank you so much for the help, Jeremy, really."

"It's no problem. I'll see you after class." he shrugged, grinning as he offered her a small wave before walking off.

Turning on her heel, Rachel walked into the science building, feeling a whole lot lighter than she had earlier that morning; she didn't know what it was about the Gilbert boy, but she was glad she'd made a friend in him. That alone was a strange thought to her, seeing as before Quinn, she hadn't had a single friend. Despite her nightmares and the strange encounter with Damon Salvatore, Rachel was starting to feel like moving to Mystic Falls was a very good idea.

.

Quinn's first period had gone relatively well; Coach Sylvester frightened her the slightest bit, but she'd impressed the woman enough to earn a chance to try out, so she was satisfied. Her coach back home had been brutal, but Quinn had tolerated her well enough. She could only hope she could do the same with Coach Sylvester.

"Good first period?"

Quinn blinked, spotting Elena just as she exited the classroom. Offering the brunette a small smile, she nodded, "Definitely. Managed to snag a cheer try out today after school."

"Oh, wow seriously?" Elena asked, the surprise quite evident on her face, "Coach Sylvester must really like you. She rarely gives people a chance to try out. She's really picky."

"Yeah," Quinn answered, "Well, now I'm feeling some serious pressure. I hope I don't tank the try out."

Quickly, Elena shook her head, "Oh, no no. I'm sure you won't. The chances are you'll most definitely make it if she's given you the chance to try out."

Quinn laughed, "Alright, if you say so."

"I do." Elena nodded, before linking her arm through Quinn's and leading her down the hall, "Now, we've only got a few more minutes before the late bell rings and we have Advisory together. Luckily, we're in Ric's Advisory period and he won't kill us too much if we're late since you're new, but we shouldn't push it too much."

Quinn laughed and let Elena lead the way; she was pretty sure Advisory was the only class she and Rachel had together the first half of the day, and it was only a total of about twenty minutes they had together if she didn't get there late.

Once they reached the classroom, Rachel was waving goodbye to Jeremy as he walked off and Quinn felt that uneasy feeling curl up within her once more. The feeling that meant she was losing her best friend to someone else.

But then Rachel turned just on time to catch sight of her walking up with Elena and her face lit up, a warm smile on her lips and everything was right in the world again.

"Hello Quinn, Elena." Rachel murmured, offering the taller brunette a polite smile, but the tension Quinn had felt between the two girls earlier was still there. It was unsettling, seeing as the two of them hardly knew each other, but Quinn couldn't exactly question Rachel about it right then and there.

"Hey Rachel." Elena replied with a small wave and smile of her own, "We should probably get inside."

Without much more, the tall brunette stepped inside the classroom, leaving Quinn to arch a delicate brow at Rachel. The tiny brunette simply shrugged and held her hands up in defense before following Elena inside.

Quinn opened her mouth to say something, quickly following the two girls inside only to stop dead in her tracks behind Rachel, eyes wide as she caught sight of an all too familiar blonde boy with full lips and gorgeous eyes.

He seemed just as shocked to see her standing there; his conversation with a couple of boys had come to a complete halt, earning herself and Rachel some rather curious stares from them, then everyone else in the room, including the teacher.

"Hello Sam," It was Rachel's voice that broke the spell, smooth and even as she slipped her hand into Quinn's and gave it a gentle squeeze, "This is an unexpected surprise."

"Uh, yeah…" was his response, blinking a few times before turning his attention to Rachel and the way she'd laced her fingers through Quinn's, "Rachel, right?"

Quinn wanted to laugh at that, but she was positive she'd sound hysterical; he had no reasons to play dumb. Of course he knew who Rachel was, Quinn had complained about her enough back when they were together. Before everything had happened. The sight of them like that must have been much more confusing then seeing her standing there in front of him after two years.

It was that little question that seemed to help her find her words, "It's okay, Rachel… I'm okay."

The tiny brunette turned to shoot her a questioning glance and she nodded once then looked back at Sam, "It's nice to see you, Sam…"

He seemed at a loss for words, but the late bell rang and Alaric seemed to realize it was time to bring his class to order, so all Sam was able to get out was a soft, "Nice to see you, too" before Alaric sent Rachel and Quinn to their seats.

It was then that Quinn really started to feel the shock of seeing Sam; he was someone connected to them, to their past before the murder. And he was going to have questions. Several of them. Because they were supposed to keep in touch. Supposed to deal with the distance and stay together. But they didn't.

No, the same night she'd agreed to that, her parents were murdered and she was thrown into a nuthouse for two years, where she became best friends with the person she'd been tormenting since the start of middle school.

How the hell was she going to explain that to him?

.

After the encounter with Sam, the day seemed to stretch far longer than it actually was. Rachel felt like she was going to start hyperventilating right then and there in the middle of class, but she'd forced herself to be strong, for Quinn's sake more than her own.

Still, she knew that this changed a lot of things; how were they supposed to start over when there was a figure that represented so much of their past standing there in front of them? When he was going to be a constant in this supposed new life, therefore a constant reminder of the people they used to be and were trying to forget?

Not to mention there was also the inevitable interrogation Quinn was going to get from him. They'd spent hours on end, with Quinn in tears talking about how much she was going to miss him. How they could have kept in touch if things hadn't gone to hell. It hurt Rachel seeing her like that, and now… Now she was terrified that her friend was going to fall apart just as things were beginning to look well for them.

It was that she used as an excuse for the unease coiling up like a snake in the pit of her stomach. Not the fear she knew was buried deep down within her, that Quinn would fall back into the arms of her ex-boyfriend and toss Rachel to the curb.

It was probably a ridiculous notion Quinn would scold her for, so Rachel kept quiet about it and did her best to support her friend through the school day - a task that was by no means easy. She'd manage to text Quinn through every period they didn't have together until they were able to talk during break. Not that they actually talked about much; Quinn refused to utter a word about anything until they were home and they did all they could to avoid a conversation with Sam Evans throughout the day.

It wasn't an easy thing to do, considering he was in pretty much every other class they'd had, but they'd pulled it off.

With Elena asking questions about how they knew Sam, though, things became a bit tense and even Jeremy had picked up on in when he led Rachel away to her next class during the first half of the day. She was grateful he didn't ask questions, though.

At the end of the day, when Elena and Jeremy headed off with their own friends, Rachel followed Quinn to the girls' locker room, insisting that she would stay and support her if she needed it.

"Rachel, you don't have to stay here." Quinn repeated, hands on her hips just as they reached the entrance to the locker room.

"Elena said Sam is on the football team!" Rachel exclaimed, "What if they have practice and he tries to corner you and-"

"_Rachel_!"

Rachel immediately stopped talking; the tone of Quinn's voice sent shivers coursing through her spine. The blonde could be truly frightening when she wanted to be, "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you…"

Quinn's expression softened and a soft sigh escaped her lips, "I know, Rachel. But I can handle it. I promise. Like you said, the boys will be _practicing_ and I will be trying out. With Coach Sylvester around, conversation is not likely. I'll get out of here the minute I'm done, so I can go home and we can figure out what were going to say when he bombards us with questions."

Rachel knew Quinn was right, and she was perfectly capable of getting herself out of a situation if need be, but Rachel was still hesitant; she didn't want Quinn to have to go through this alone.

Biting her lip, Rachel finally nodded, "Alright. I should probably go drop off my application at the Grill anyway." She murmured, "But if something happens, do not hesitate to call me, okay?"

Smiling, Quinn nodded, "I won't." she leaned over and pulled her friend in for a quick hug before pulling back and making her way into the girls' locker room with a final, "I'll see you later, Rachel."

"See you later." Rachel sighed, her gut clenching uncomfortably as she watched the blonde disappear behind the door; she knew her fears were ridiculous, her thoughts selfish, but after all they'd been through together, Rachel couldn't help it; Quinn had been the queen at the top of the social pyramid back at McKinley, and Sam had been her king. Rachel knew that she'd changed drastically since then - they both had - but Quinn had genuinely loved Sam. She'd genuinely cared for the boy and Rachel was terrified things would quickly go back to the way they once were.

"Hey, you okay?"

Rachel blinked as Jeremy's voice registered in her mind before turning to see he'd slipped up right beside her, a concerned expression etched on his features. Offering him a small smile, she nodded, "I'm fine."

Jeremy's expression was enough to let her know that he didn't believe her, but he didn't push this issue, which was something she was grateful for, "Alright, but if you need to talk… I know we haven't known each other long, but I'm willing to listen."

Rachel felt her insides grow warm at his words; she had never really had a true friend to confide in while growing up, what with everyone being weirded out by her determination and goals, and then being afraid of being tormented alongside her when it all began in middle school. Sure, she had Quinn now, but their friendship had developed because they were all the other had left, because of the murder of their parents, not because either girl had truly wanted to befriend the other.

Jeremy was a breath of fresh air; it was effortless, being his friend, even though they'd only met the day before.

Looking up at him, Rachel gave a soft smile and nodded, "Thank you."

"It's no problem." Jeremy answered, a warm smile on his lips.

"Before I forget," Rachel started, opting for a quick change of subject and reached over to pull the job application she'd filled out from her back, handing it over to him, "I filled it all out. Think you could turn it in for me?"

Jeremy took the application from her with a smile and a nod, "Yeah, yeah, sure thing. I was just about to walk on over to work anyway, so I can hand it in once I get there."

"Oh, do you want a ride?" Rachel asked, "I've got some time to kill."

"That'd be great actually." Jeremy nodded, grinning down at her.

"Wonderful!" she smiled, grabbing his hand and leading him towards her car; if she couldn't be there for Quinn, she'd take anything to get her mind off the inevitable conversation between her best friend and her ex-boyfriend.

.

"Alright, Fabray, you're in."

The smile that made its way onto Quinn's face was possibly the only smile she'd been able to wear all day after the encounter with Sam - whom she'd somehow managed to avoid looking for out on the football field not too far from where she and the other cheerleaders were set up.

"Thank you so much, Ms. Sylvester." Quinn beamed, doing her best to ignore the scoff from the latina girl, Santana, that Elena had been warning her about earlier in the day and the roll of eyes from the girl she remembered being introduced as Caroline - two of the lovely girls Elena had mentioned being at war for the top spot.

"Yeah, yeah, now follow Mikaelson to get yourself fitted for a uniform."

Just like that she was dismissed, and the girl, Rebekah, stepped forward with a smile that Quinn wasn't sure was fake or real in the slightest.

"Come on," she said, tilting her head to the side, "If we take too long she'll have you running laps like there's no end to them."

"And we don't want that." Quinn joked, following the girl as she lead Quinn back towards the girls' locker room.

"Definitely not." Rebekah agreed with a soft laugh, walking into the locker room and heading over to a door in the far corner of the room and pulling it open, quickly glancing back at Quinn before stepping inside and pulling a couple of uniforms out and holding them out to her, "Here, try these. If they don't fit, we'll keep looking."

Taking the uniforms from Rebekah, Quinn nodded and walked towards one of the shower stalls; she really didn't feel like getting undressed in front of anyone if the stalls were free.

"So how're you liking Mystic Falls so far?" Rebekah asked, no doubt trying to fill the awkward silence.

"It's been good." Quinn answered, slipping her sweater off, "I mean, it's only my first day here at school, so I feel I can't really criticize when I haven't done much in town in general."

"I suppose that's true." Rebekah replied.

"What about you?" Quinn asked, pulling her dress over her head and reaching for the top, "Have you lived here long enough to give a genuine opinion of the place?"

She hears Rebekah give a soft laugh, "I've been here a while, with my brother. You see, we lived in Mystic Falls a while back, when we were too young to remember much of it and have only recently returned."

"Oh, that's interesting." Quinn murmured, slipping on the skirt and zipping it up, "Why'd you come back? If it's no bother asking."

The girl on the other side of the door was silent for a moment as Quinn looked at herself in the body long mirror hanging to her right.

"Nik - my brother - has some business to attend to, and he wasn't sure how long we'd actually be staying, so he had me enroll in school, just in case we were here to stay..." she finally responded, her sentence trailing off just as Quinn pushed open the door.

"Well," Quinn offered her a bright smile, "I know it probably won't mean much, considering we just met, but I do hope you're here to stay."

Rebekah's lips twitched a bit, and the smile that slipped onto her lips immediately afterwards was the most sincere smile Quinn had ever seen; it made her wonder why Elena would ever warn her to stay away from the girl.

"I hope so, too." Rebekah mumbled, quickly clearing her throat afterward and looking Quinn over before nodding, "I think that one'll do."

Quinn can't fight the smile that forces itself onto her lips; it's like suddenly all things are slipping back to normal. She's made her way onto the team, she's making friends and she feels so very good about it all.

In fact, not even the constant glares and looks of suspicion she gets from Santana and Caroline bother her as much as they'd initially did. She feels invincible with Rebekah standing beside her, and she's sure everyone can see the confidence radiating off of her, because by the end of the practice session, they're all welcoming her to the team - with the exception of Caroline and Santana, of course - and Quinn would swear to anyone that asked that she saw a true grin make its way on to Coach Sylvester's lips.

"That was so much fun," she breathes, trotting out of the girls' locker room with Rebekah by her side, "I'm so glad I made it onto the team. It's been way too long since I last cheered."

"You were brilliant. Not as good as me, of course," Rebekah grins, and Quinn lets out a soft laugh, "But I am genuinely glad you decided to join. It'd be nice to have an actual friend on the team."

Quinn was sure the surprise must have been evident on her face because Rebekah automatically says, "You cannot tell me that you would consider a single girl on that team a friend. They've all got one thing in mind, and that's taking the Head Cheerleader spot from someone else."

"You included?" Quinn asked, a smile tugging at her lips as she glanced over at Rebekah, who gave a small laugh.

"I happen to genuinely enjoy the sport, if you must know." Rebekah countered, though the smirk on her lips told Quinn otherwise, "Just like I enjoy watching Caroline Forbes and Santana Lopez wallow in their misery whenever I happen to best them."

Quinn couldn't help the small laugh the girl's words; Rebekah reminded her a little too much of herself. Of how she used to be. "Well, with the way I've seen them act so far, I can't say they don't deserve it."

Rebekah grinned, and Quinn felt a small bit of pride bubble in her at the thought that this girl might really like her. Might actually want to be friends with her, for _her_.

"I hate to leave this lovely conversation," Quinn sighed, remembering she'd have to wait for Rachel to pick her up or walk home, and as much as she wanted to get home as soon as possible, she needed some time to think about the whole Sam thing before she faced her worrisome friend, "But I have to walk home and I'd rather get there before the sun disappears from the sky."

"I could… give you a ride, if you want…?"

Rebekah seemed almost nervous in her offer, which surprised Quinn a bit, if she was being honest but she offered the blonde a smile and nodded, "That'd be great, actually."

Rebekah smiled then, but just as she linked her arm through Quinn's, her heart stopped at the sight of Sam running in her direction.

"Quinn! Hey… I wanted to talk to you…" He murmured, looking somewhat out of breath. "We _really_ need to talk."

He shot a glance at Rebekah, who seemed to be focusing a little more on the girl's arm tightening around hers, than on the blonde football player in front of them.

"I-I can't." Quinn answered, taking a deep breath and shaking her head. "Not right now, I have to go. B-but we'll talk soon, I promise. I'm just not…ready for this conversation right now. I'm sorry." Turning to Rebekah, she shot the girl a pleading look, "So, that ride…?"

"Right," Rebekah nodded, seeming extremely confused, but leading her new blonde friend away anyway, "My car's over in this direction."

Rebekah didn't ask questions, though Quinn could tell she wanted to know what was going on between her and Sam. It made her feel a little happy that the girl understood Quinn didn't want to talk about it. She would have; they'd had the entire drive to Quinn's house for her to bring up the topic in all their small banter, but Quinn knew that if she started talking about it, she'd fall apart, and the last thing she wanted to do was scare this new friend away.

So, she didn't say a word. Not a single word.

Instead, she let Rebekah talk about silly little things, that really should have meant the world to her, because it was gossip, and the teenage social hierarchy and fashion and every single thing a teenage girl should long to talk about. She listened, and chimed in with a smile on her face, and a soft laugh in the right place. But when she got out of the car, thanked Rebekah for the drive, headed into her house and found Rachel cooking dinner, all she wanted to do was cry.

.

"Quinn is that you?" Rachel glanced up from the spaghetti she was working on, a smile on her face that only fell the minute her blonde best friend walked into the kitchen, tears falling from her eyes. Rachel immediately dropped what she was doing and ran over to the blonde and threw her arms around her.

It was that that made Quinn breakdown, sobs wracking her entire body as she buried her face in the crook of her friend's neck, "I don't think I can do this. H-how am I supposed to do this, Rachel? I loved him. I still love him. We were supposed to be together.. But everything's wrong. Things weren't supposed to be like this… I don't know how I can face him. Not without falling apart."

"You listen to me," Rachel started, pulling back and holding Quinn by the shoulders as she cleared her throat, trying to keep her own tears at bay, "You are strong enough for this, Quinn. You will get through this. _We_ will get through this. You're not alone, and you'll never be alone, because I'm here with you, okay? I will always be with you and we'll do this. One step at a time."

Quinn sniffed, reaching up to wipe away the tears as she nodded, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"We'll get through this." Rachel repeated, pulling the blonde into another tight embrace, "I promise we will."

Those words alone made Quinn feel the smallest bit lighter, and for the first time in the past few years, Quinn didn't feel so empty inside.

**[tbc.]**


End file.
